I’ll go ahead and say it: I don’t care that XXXtenacion died. I don’t care that you broke your elbow. I don’t care about him enough to know his art name correctly, or to bother to google it. I care about the numerous people he abused and tried to violently kill, even though I don’t know who they are and I’ll probably never meet them in person. I care about them enough, as I do for all the survivors in my life, to not hear his music or support him. In such a materialistic, uncertain world, something is certain: what we choose to give our money to, matters. You might be just a dollar sign to those companies, but every dollar sign matters.
I’m a firm believer in stating your intentions early on. Being clear on what you expect from your romantic relationships, friendships, and workplace is key in meeting those expectations and getting what you want, whatever that was/is.
Coming (literally) across Andy Leek’s amazing art when I was in Amsterdam, I quickly became obsessed. I’m a sucker for one-liners that speak the truth.
A long time ago, in far far away land, there was a princess. The princess tried to distance herself from other princesses. She did so because society brought girls down, thus she equated being a woman with being unworthy or not-as-worthy as the male counterpart. She quickly learned that things and activities that were deemed girly weren’t as worthy. A girl would be congratulated and frowned upon for the same thing, in the same day! What’s a princess to do?!
The princess didn’t live in a castle without a wifi connection or a library nearby. The princess quickly learned about internalized misogyny.
I’m the princess. I educated myself and now I love my fellow princesses queens!
V, who has such a stressful job, but makes it work LIKE A BOSS. She’s so strong and I’m proud of her!
N, who has now quit smoking for more than 3 weeks now!!! This is the longest she’s ever gone since she started years ago and I’m SOOO proud of her.
S, this kick-ass, gorgeous, funny as hell, princess I’ve been friends for years now. She’s finally realizing her worth and that she deserves ONLY the absolute fucking best. I love her and I’m so proud of her!
A, bureaucratic shit can really get to you. Especially when it will affect your education, combined with people that are so inexplicably, unnecessarily mean and rude- while being miles away from friends and family. Despite it all, she’s handling it so well and I’m so proud of her.
G, who is the first Albanian vegan I met and is doing her best to save animals and spread the word for a compassionate lifestyle. I’m so proud of her! Also, the night I met her, I’m 80% sure my cat had peed in my shirt AND she said nothing about it, I mean….
Some days, it feels unnatural to write only three things you're grateful for in your journal, so you write down way more. Other days, you get in a fight with your friend, your partner's being insensitive, you eat chips before lunch then you fall asleep and don't have a proper lunch or dinner, you lose the finished draft of an article (only one you had), listening to the politicians you're supposed to vote for on Sunday makes you gag, two different people from the same company wrote to say your article was rejected, you see this too-cute-to-be-a-stray* dog alone in the street meaning he's lost or was thrown out- all on the same day.
I'll go ahead and say what you're thinking**: children in Africa are dying.
However, as you might (or not) have noticed, there's no transitional word there. No but.***That's the secret.
If you mention others sufferance to someone sharing their struggles with you, it's not to compare or diminish their pain. It's another problem on its own. If you say but men get raped too as an answer to women getting raped, you're part of the problem.
If you say but white people get killed too, you're making it about you; white people get killed and men get raped, but that should be your entire sentence. Women get raped and POC are killed way more disproportionately, so your point isn't valid.
I consider myself a pretty grateful person. I think I'm way happier and kinder to the people in my life -and strangers!- after I started paying attention to all the little (and huge) blessings in my life. Like everyone though, I have my moments. They're way less frequent, but if you try to diminish my pain (or happiness, for that matter) because someone out there has it worse/better, you kinda suck.
Likewise, if a queer person is sharing their experience as a queer person with you, you should listen to what they're saying. NOT the moment to say straight people get beat up too. They do, but not because they're straight, catch my drift?!
Something that took me a long time to learn is that pain is not a competition.
People across the world are suffering and people across the world are having the time of their life. They say "comparison is the thief of joy", I agree. Be happy, or sad- yu don't own an explanation to anyone for how you're feeling. Especially don't be hard on yourself saying other people could have it worse. Also, to anyone who only brings up certain issues when being confronted about other ones? Check yo self 'fore you wreck yo self. You already know what I stand for.
P.S. No, I didn't forget to include my sources, I simply believe some research is better done yourself.
P.S.2 Kinda touched on all the subjects I wanted to, and if you're thinking, what does one have to do with the other, consider that the people trying to invalidate your experiences are doing so for a reason. Hint hint: status quo.
*Stray dogs break my heart, but breeders will probably die in the ~wild~
**Psych majors really DO read minds y'all.
***I thought butt almost immediately and winked ~out loud~, you know, like, to myself, in public. No shame in my game. jk, it was unconscious.
In this place where I got blueberry tea, the waiter is making eating noises, Enrique Inglesias is playing, a police officer just got a macchiato to go. I couldn’t call a cab so I just kept walking till I came across one. No cab. Guys. Some of them talked to me, some turned a few cars stopped. However, just like Nemo I kept…walking.
There’s something about midnight walks. They’re therapeutical almost. It’s just you and your thoughts (and only slightly creepy guys- on a good day). I so did not regret this walk. I saved money by not getting a cab. I moved my body. I had clearer thoughts on what had happened earlier. Also, walking at night after you’ve had a few drinks is a good idea, the alcohol starts -slowly, but surely- getting out of you.
!!! not recommended if you’ve had so many drinks you can’t walk straight.
I’m home after volunteering in a mental health placement in an Asian country for a month. I learned so much, I grew so much, I paid no attention to my comfort zone and what I would usually do, I felt part of a completely different culture to the one I’m used to, I loved it. Oh, and also, during the entire duration of the placement, where we had to walk and drive around a lot, I only got catcalled once. Once. Uno. Un. Eins. However, the first time I went out since being back, I got catcalled within (less than) two minutes of leaving the house. All women have developed a thick skin when it comes to BS like this, but the difference was shocking to me.
Shia LaBeouf says “Just do it“, well in this case, just don’t. You achieve nothing, it has no point and you’re actively sexualizing women, they’re not asking what do you think about their ass, they don’t care.
I wish to live in a world where girls everywhere can go out late at night and return home safe not repelled by humanity. Each one of us deserves blueberry tea in a cute café, we can rendezvous at the bar around 2.
Guys, don’t catcall, don’t hit on girls whose head is so far in the don’t-talk-to-me angle they could be seeing behind, don’t make girls uncomfortable just because you can and bash similar actions when you notice them in other guys. Make life easier for girls and yourself. She just wants the T(ea).