Journal on a bus

Falling in Love Every Day


“Don’t take it personally.” Maybe someone hexed me, but last time I took something personally (from people I don’t know that well) was 12 years ago. Whoever hexed me, thank you. Or is it you, FBI man, who allowed me to see clearly by what you chose to show me and what you didn’t? Do I have you to thank? My voodoo doll being treated way too well by whoever controls her?

Okay, maybe it’s not a double-digit number since, but definitely a long time since I gave a fuck about someone being snarky or petty. The more I grow, the more I see such displays as cries for help. Sometimes I get involved, sometimes I steer clear. Hurt people hurt people, and I no longer consider myself selfish for putting myself first. I don’t even consider selfish a bad word, fight me. As my newest obsession Young M.A said, I’m selfish, no question.

What else, what else?

To All The People I’ve Loved Until I Got Off The Bus

I don’t usually take the bus that often because I absolutely love walking, but when I do it’s guaranteed I’ll fall in love with someone during the ride. I create all these scenarios in my head, what they’re like, what they’re going to do once they get home, what makes them smile, their favorite movie, how we’d have such a great time together. Then, I never think of them again. Ah, the joys of platonic love. Now that I think about it, I fall in love when I’m walking too. All the time, I’m falling in and out of love.

I wasn’t trying to create a correlation, but maybe that’s why I can afford the luxury to not take things personally. I know there’s always more just around the corner: people, possibilities, smiles, love. No one’s that irreplaceable, that important as to constantly ruin your mood/day because *they* are in pain and lashing out wherever they get the chance.

I’ll close with two quotes I found recently, that I love. They’re from Naval Ravikant, AngelList founder, spiritual mentor to thousands and overall extremely inspiring figure.

The older the problem, the older the solution. 

A fit body, a calm mind, a house full of love. These things cannot be bought- they must be earned.”

Thanks for reading, D.




Priscilla Du Preez

Heartfelt Conversations


Throughout my life, I’ve been blessed with amazing conversations. It’s sort of a constant happening that I’m no longer surprised by, always humbled from.

Good experiences, bad experiences, neutral ones. It was all talked thoroughly with my closest people who always had the most heartfelt, valuable insights to share.

This day, I had another great conversation that lasted for hours. I felt overwhelmed by the generosity of the other people present: how they share their thoughts, time, heart, laughs, cries, heartbreaks, and victories.


cindy del valle - sunset photo

Sunday – People Who Make It All Worth It


It does feel kinda surreal going to bed after watching the sunrise. Birds singing, empty streets, clear skies. A feeling of warmth, abundance, light. Beginnings are important, but so are endings. Knowing this is how the end starts (dramatic music playing) I rest assured Monday and next week will also start on the right foot. Appreciate the people in the life that put a smile on your face, that inspire and excite you. I also had some quality time with my mum and felt extremely grateful for her and the way she is, the space she occupies in this world and in my own personal little world, the personality traits I’ve stolen from her (mwahaha), and all the love she has to give and deserves to get.

Birthday of a Blessing


I’ll keep it short and sweet. Today is a blessed day. Last night, at 00:00 PM the fireworks started blasting off and shook my world. They were rocking the entire neighborhood with how strong they were, or maybe I just wasn’t expecting them to go off that’s why they caught me so off guard.

Like you did.

Here, at 00:00 PM, people blast fireworks as a “happy birthday” wish to their loved ones. Nothing says I’m happy you were born like some colorful fire in the sky.

God, I’m happy you were born.

I think of you, a smile pops up. You remind me of the word life, maybe because to me, you represent all that’s good in this life.

You knew you had to have me in your life the first time you saw me, and I felt the same, I had to get to know you.
I felt very drawn to you, and for good reason.

As we started to get to know each other, I was surprised at how much we had in common, how many values we shared, our similar views on so many topics and not long after I met you, how attached I’d become to you. I just…loved you. There was no denying it.

Where had you been all my life?!

Years have passed since that time I “scared” you as you were going to French class, and I feel as strongly as ever that you’re a blessing. A real-life angel.

You’re undiluted soul, energy, goodness, truth, love. In its simplest, purest form.

I’m ecstatic you’re alive.
Happy birthday. I love you.

Its June Already: Reflections on the First Half of 2018

Half of the year has passed. Some self-reflection is in order.
470 days of consecutive meditation as of today. I miss my 30-minute sessions, but apparently not enough to make it a priority and actually follow through with it. See, complete honesty at all times.
“If you have more than three priorities, you have none.”
The third week in a row writing every day. Amazing feeling and what I already knew- I should have started earlier. Happy I made this a priority.

Blamed for loving myself too much, so I’ll have to gladly report self-care and self-love is still top notch.



I’m about to cook some gnocchi and pass out on the couch by 9PM, but I’ve committed to this writing every day no matter what thing, so I’ll try. I’ve noticed that when I meditate first thing in the morning, and get my writing done early, I can have such a peaceful rest of the day without having to worry whether I’ll get the time, or make the time, or if I’ll have to lie to my meditation tracking app once again. Shhhh.

So lesson of the day/week: do it early.

Also, if you do it early, you’re more likely to do it well.

Also, don’t doubt yourself.

Also, keep finding joy in the little things. And the big things. And all the things. You’re doing amazing sweetie.

Dallas Clayton artwork image

10 Hacks That Will Change Your Life (Or Positively Affect It)

Drinks, Gratefulness, Meditation, Psychology

You can start with as little as a minute or 10 breaths, then gradually move your way up. Over the years, a great number of studies have shown numerous benefits to meditation: a sense of calmness, better sleep, more self-confidence, less anxiety etc. The best thing about meditation is that all you need is you, no books or retreats or teachers to nourish the most important relationship of your life: the one with your inner self. As Nayyirah Waheed said:

I love myself is the quietest. simplest. most powerful. revolution. ever.

Drink water

Especially first thing when you wake up. After sleep, we’re all dehydrated and that glass of water may seem meaningless, but it really starts the day on the right foot for your body, mind, digestion… You can flavor it with fruits, lemon, mint or whatever strikes your fancy for some extra tastiness. Yes, I’m one of the people that think water has taste and a great one for that matter. Fight me and my superior taste buds.

Skip breakfast

No matter how much of a breakfast-dreader you might be, you knew that couldn’t be a real hack. Breakfast is important- you know it, I know it, the people at Dunkin Donuts know it… Your brain works better, your body responds faster, you’re prone to make healthier food choices, you won’t have any crashes afterward. Win win win. Extra hack: My friend who works ungodly hours for KLM, the Royal Dutch Airlines, makes a batch of pancakes to go through the week, so she has something to look forward to. 10/10 recommended.


Yes, working out releases endorphins, the happiness hormone, but even just moving around your house/office, or taking a walk outside is enough to trigger a similar response. It’s extremely beneficial to your productivity, mental clarity and mood.

Simple, effective gratefulness method

I’m as wary as the next person when it comes to studies found online, seeing as you’re in the dark about who might have sponsored the research, how scientific the methods used are and whether the actual findings are actually applicable and/or beneficial in real life. However, I’m always on the lookout for claims that certain behaviors will make us lead a happier life. I came across happiness researcher Shawn Achor, who’s worked with Google, large financial companies, conducted studies in Harvard, UPS, etc., aka trustworthy, who shared his findings on 5 non-time-consuming happiness habits.

My favorite was writing down three (different) things you’re grateful for, 21 days in a row. I shared my own three things I’m grateful for a while back. Why it works you’re ~actively~ training your brain to look for positives. You’ll be a ray of sunshine in no time (your friends might get worried at first).

Adjust accordingly
Make a conscious effort to include activities you enjoy in your everyday life. Cliché as it sounds, you do only live once. Rules do not apply if you’re a cat or believe in reincarnation.
Image result for what you like what you don't change accordingly dallas clayton
Compliment others
Kind words cost nothing. Kind words cost nothing. Nothing. This “hack” is low cost- little to no effort/time; high reward- you might put a smile on someone’s face, make them feel more confident, make their day…
More purposefully directed attention
Only a small percentage of our time online is spent mindfully and purposefully. See how checking the news/social media frequently makes you feel and whether it adds any real value to your life. This is an important read.
Say yes/no more often

Advice at its finest. Some quotes I’ve come across often lately:

  1. all advice is a form of nostalgia
  2. all advice is autobiographical

Indian food? Spanish literature? Jazz music? You might be missing out because you refuse to give new things a try. On the other hand, you might be finding yourself agreeing to go to that Jazz club you strongly dislike, for the 3rd weekend in a row, just because you can’t say no to your friends. Boundaries are your friend. While stepping outside your comfort zone is crucial for growth, treat your needs and desires and time and self with the respect they deserve.

Look on the bright side
Is there anything remotely positive about your fucked up situation? Any lesson you’ve learned that you’ll cherish forever? Aren’t you proud of at least one thing you did during the stressful situation? Last night The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (5/5) was on tv, and I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes that it reminded me of:
“For what it’s worth… it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Photo by J-S Romeo on Unsplash

Never Fail to Put a Smile on My Face

Gratefulness, Meditation

I heard the following sentences during a guided meditation some time ago, and I wrote them down in my notebook. The teacher (I can’t remember who it was for the life of me, but I’ll link them once I do) used a pretty simplistic language, but I felt so deeply affected by these words and their power of me. They inspired me to do better and more and trust the process and myself. I’ve read them at different times of my life and they never fail to bring joy and a smile to my face, hope they do the same to you.

The more you give attention to what you don’t want, the more you get what you don’t want.

The Universe has at its disposal powers that we can’t begin to understand.

The Universe has no schedule.

No prayer, no desire goes undone.

What you want, will come to you.

Sometimes you beat the postcard home from vacation, but it always arrives. This is what manifestation is all about.

What you want is speeding towards you.

Our Universe is truly magical. How blessed you feel to be part of something so magical.

Gratitude fills your being for all the lessons you’ve learned.
"A silhouette of a person on a sunlit tree-lined road" by freddie marriage on Unsplash

Free Flow

A penny for your thoughts, Gratefulness

Feelings of inadequacy and restlessness. I’m now able to sit in silence, a half-smile on my face, acknowledging my emotions and fully be in the moment. Not hope it would be better or less or anything else than exactly what it is. Searching inside for that thing that doesn’t really come naturally, the thing you actually have to search for.

"A silhouette of a person on a sunlit tree-lined road" by freddie marriage on Unsplash

Trying to connect with the higher self that does -more-, emphasis on trying. The Resistance isn’t messing around, it means business. I grab my choker a little too hard, try to come up with a metaphor. I choke on my own words.

The amount and sincerity of the people rooting for me used to make feel all warm inside. It still does, but now the blood rush and higher bpm caused by trying to find the thing they’d need to hear, so they can keep rooting for me, accounts for a considerable portion of that warmth.

There’s no void, but I’m trying to fill one nonetheless. 

I wave at cops*, smile at strangers, walk-dance away from people I don’t like. On my terms, I’m doing much better than most. I’m not doing much, though.

How many hours a day for how many days do I need to fight The Resistance to make it out alive and well? To make it? Make the art not so hard? Make the art? Give my calling a call?

Written some time ago, when everything was pointing me in one direction** and I was trying to go the other way. It shows in my (incredibly cheesy, not good) writing and it showed in my everyday life. Listen to your gut. If you’re looking for a sign…

*Isn’t that the whitest thing you’ve ever heard?

**Imagine a time where hearing/seeing one direction written somewhere doesn’t immediately remind you of 1D. Now, stop imagining cuz that time will never come.