Hey hey. Hope is one of my all-time favorite concepts and having you tell me I spark that in you is amazing, to say the least, so thank you. And no need to apologize.
For the longest time, I used to wallow in self-pity WHILE feeling superior to others, not the healthiest combo as you can imagine.
I knew I had to change eventually and taking baby steps, I tried to be less skeptical of others, more open (towards strangers or people who I didn’t share the same values with) and more vulnerable. Putting yourself in a place of pure genuineness usually means you’ll surround yourself with likely minded individuals (bonus: being authentic yourself, you can spot truth and falsehood from miles away).
I decided I’d rather be
forever alone than in bad company, and ironically, the moment I made a conscious effort to get to know myself better, I strengthened my old relationships and built some amazing new ones with others.
I fell in love with parts of myself I didn’t even know were there.
Meditation and/or just taking time to myself helped a lot, we are SO accustomed to being around other people or being busy and having things to do all the time, that we rarely get that in touch with our inner self. Call it gut feeling, instinct, heart, whatever- as Rumi said,
Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
Surrounding yourself with goodness means you will start to feel good/better- about yourself, others and humanity in general.
Still, no matter how actively you put yourself in an honest, loving, non-toxic position, you can come across the worst people, the furthest thing from kind or genuine. We all do. With these people, what works is (trying) to remember, it’s NEVER about me. Keyword trying. I distance myself as much as possible and try to not take it personally.
It gets easier and easier with practice, pinky promise.
These kinds of people have years of built-up tension, resentment, sadness and who knows what else. Unresolved issues remain so until we work on them. Maybe these awful individuals are not even aware of them, and maybe these people are trying, but aren’t quite there yet. The fact remains, not about me.
I’d also like to mention writing down what I’m grateful for, I feel like that made a huge difference- there’s plenty of research to back it up, but I feel like it all goes down to I have all these good things going on for me, wow, I’m lucky being a wonderful realization.
Plenty of good things are happening all over the world and despite what watching the news would have us believe (or feel), life is better than it’s EVER been– “at least” assessing poverty, literacy, health, fertility and overall freedom. That’s saying something, right?! And there are so many good people around, girl, you’re one of them.
Thanks for writing and thanks for reading.