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Why Am I Like this- (Not) Saying No

Food for thought

Sometimes, you struggle with writing ideas, sometimes the stories present themselves just as you’re about to sit down and write.

Today, I don’t want to talk about how I can’t seem to say NO to people I don’t know.
My worst nightmare consists of me being rude to others (now that I think about it I saw a bunch of terrible creatures in my dream last night, they wouldn’t stop showing up all over the place, and I wasn’t worried at all, but they probably were ~the stuff nightmares are made of~). A nightmare could be me being rude to those creatures.
Anyway, kinda proud of dream me, she handled it so well, 0 freaking out, maximum efficiency who is sheee. Imagine having to explain Internet humor like who is sheee to people, that’d create the ultimate fictional nightmare.
As I was saying, I hate unnecessary rudeness (like it’s ever a necessity, but you know).
However, now I’m at a place I didn’t want to be because I couldn’t just say nah I’m good. I don’t mean that metaphorically.
I wanted to get some work done by the beach, looking at the waves, a light breeze on my hair…
Now I’m at this basement bar, sort of, hearing the people who work here trying to prove who’s the least dumb thus more deserving of my attention, WiFi isn’t even working so can’t get much work done and now I’m complaining about something that is my fault. I couldn’t stay outside because there’s no cord outlet for my uncharged PC, and I could’ve easily gone to one of the 50 other bars close by that have outlets outside. But no. The waiter said you can stay inside, stay inside, inside, there’s a cord outlet inside.
I hesitated for a second, then he reiterated, inside. I was defeated.
Can’t wait to tell my friends, who will roast me about it for days. I can already hear it “you tell us NO all the fucking time and you can’t tell a guy you’ve never and will never see again you don’t want to sit there?”
They roasted me last time we were at the beach for a similar occurrence. I had some stomach issues and my mum, despite being miles away, convinced me to get some medication. The one we always get for stomach issues. After walking for so long, I finally found a pharmacy. I only needed that kind of medication, I knew the name and the quantity and felt assured I’d be fine afterward, as I always do.
I got out of the pharmacy pissed, and with a shitload of pills and whatnot with me, despite saying NO, I don’t need that! Or that! very clearly, several times. She just kept insisting yes, you do, this went on for about 2 minutes until I caved in.
I know, I’m weak, and natural selection will take care of me sooner rather than later.
I’m sure a lot of people have done plenty of research on the matter and written amazing books and articles on how to fucking deal. It’s definitely not a serious issue at all at the moment for me to be legitimately worried, and I have faith I’ll figure it out with no outside help. If anything, it’s funny.
Growing up, I was on the opposite side of the kindness spectrum. Maybe I’m making up for old times with the extra YES-es?
I like to think of it that way. As anything, it’s a journey.
Since I’d feel bad for making you read 600 words (so far) without offering any sort of CTA/resolution besides it be like that sometimes, here it is, the secret to success. Not clickbait.
Thanks for reading!