Sometimes, I think my dad is allergic to self-care.
A team of 12 doctors can tell him, have told him, that he needs rest. He still can’t get himself to just relax, rest, replenish. Band-aid solutions till the next time he burns out, hypnotized by that feeling of accomplishment and the adrenaline rush of more.
Years ago on Tumblr, I saw a photo of a neon sign, the outline of a heart shape, inscribed with the words Never Enough. Never Enough.
It stuck with me.
It’s up for interpretation, but I never considered the neon sign a sign of not being enough or not feeling enough. Instead, it was about that hazy, joyous, delightful hunger for life.
Never enough. Using music and writing and art in all its forms to emphasize whatever feeling I’m feeling. Productive, sad, in love, restless, frustrated, too much… Whatever it is.
Pushing it to the limit means making room for overcoming those limitations, creating new rules, making better mistakes.
Update: Two years later, I returned to the subject in the article, The “Never Enough” Neon Sign and Borrowed Goals.