Hey hey. Hope is one of my all-time favorite concepts, you telling me I spark that in you warms me up, inspires me to do more, astonishes me, so I thank you.
“Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them.”
Be careful of the narratives you tell yourself, you don’t bother others and your “toxins” are nothing of the sort.
Here’s my story on hope, and change, and trusting humanity, again.
For the longest time, I used to wallow in self-pity while feeling superior to others, not the healthiest combo, as you can imagine.
Something had to give, I knew that. Taking baby steps, I tried to be less skeptical of others, more open towards strangers or people I didn’t share values with, more vulnerable.
Being open and genuine, sometimes till a point of discomfort, means you’ll surround yourself with likely-minded individuals. Bonus: being authentic yourself, you can spot truth and lies from miles away.
After a series of pivotal moments, I finally decided that I would rather be forever alone, than spend another minute in bad company or pitying myself. The moment I made a conscious effort to get to know myself better, I strengthened my old relationships and built some amazing new ones with others.
I fell in love with parts of myself I didn’t even know were there.
Meditation and making time for myself helped a lot.
We are so accustomed to being around other people or being busy and having things to do all the time, that we rarely get that in touch with our inner self. Call it a gut feeling, instinct, heart, whatever. As Rumi said:
Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
Surrounding yourself with goodness means you will start to feel good, or better- about yourself, others, and humanity in general.
Then, you live happily ever after.
Not quite. No matter how much you try to only put yourself in honest, loving, non-toxic environments, you’ll still come across, or even find yourself surrounded by the worst people, the furthest thing from kind or genuine. Happens to the best of us.
It gets easier and easier with practice. Pinky promise.
With these people, it helps to keep in mind: their behavior is never about you, always about them. I distance myself as much as humanely possible from these energy vampires. Try not to internalize or take their hatred of the world personally.
All those years of built-up tension, resentment, sadness, and who knows what else, have to show up somewhere. Make sure you don’t become the punching bag.
Unresolved issues remain so until we work on them.
Maybe these awful individuals aren’t even aware of their issues, and maybe they are trying, but aren’t quite there yet, the fact remains, their behavior or negativity is not about you.
Here’s some more advice from the time I was searching for a feature, and frequently asked questions showed up in the suggestions, so I thought I’d answer. No one asked me, but I didn’t let that stop me. You can see those answers here.
Me talking about gratitude, what’s new?
It made a huge difference for me. There’s plenty of research on the benefits of gratitude journaling, but I feel like it all comes down to: “I have all these good things going on for me, wow, I’m lucky!” being a wonderful realization, one we often forget or take for granted.
Plenty of good things are happening all over the world. Despite what watching the news would have us believe, or feel, life is better than it’s ever been, “at least” referring to poverty, literacy, health, fertility, and freedom levels.
That’s something, right?! And… giiiiirl, there are so many good people around.
You’re one of them.
Thanks for writing and thanks for reading.