Some days, it feels unnatural to write down in your journal only three things you’re grateful for, so you mention way more.
On other days, you get in a fight with your friend, your partner is being insensitive, you eat chips before lunch, then you fall asleep without a proper lunch or dinner, you lose the only final draft you had of an article, listening to the politicians you’re supposed to vote for on Sunday makes you gag, two different people from the same company wrote to let you know your article was rejected, this too-cute-to-be-a-stray* dog is alone on the street, meaning he’s lost or was thrown out.
All on the same day.
I’ll go ahead and say what you’re thinking**, people are dying.
However, as you might have noticed, there’s no transitional word there. No but.***
That’s the thing.
If you mention others’ sufferance to someone sharing their struggles with you, make sure it’s not to compare or diminish their pain.
It’s another problem on its own. If you say “But men get raped too!” as an answer to women getting raped, you’re part of the problem.
You’re making it about you when you say “But white people get killed too.“ White people get killed, and men get raped, but those should be entire sentences. Women are raped and black and indigenous people are killed more disproportionately, so what point are you trying to make?
Also, if you only brings up certain issues when being confronted about others, check yo self ‘fore you wreck yo self.
I consider myself grateful. I’m way happier, and I’ve been kinder to the people in my life, to strangers too, after I started paying attention to all the tiny (and enormous) blessings in my life. Like everyone, though, I have my bad moments. They’re less frequent, but if you try to diminish my pain, or happiness, for that matter, because someone out there has it worse/better, you kinda suck.
Likewise, if someone is sharing their life experience as a queer person with you, you should listen. It’s NOT the moment to say, “Straight people get beat up too.” They do, but not because they’re straight, catch my drift?!
Something that took me a long time to learn is that pain is not a competition.
I touched on all the subjects I intended to. If you’re thinking, “What does one have to do with the other?” consider that the people trying to invalidate your experiences are doing so for a reason. Hint hint: status quo.
Across the world, people are suffering, other people are having the time of their lives.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Don’t be hard on yourself thinking of others who have it worse. Happy or sad, you don’t owe anyone an explanation or an excuse for the way you’re feeling.
P.S. I didn’t forget to include sources, but I believe it’s better to research some things yourself.
*Stray dogs break my heart, but breeders would probably die in the ~wild~.
**Psych majors really DO read minds.
***I thought of “butt” almost immediately and winked ~out loud~, you know, like, to myself, in public. No shame in my game (jk, it was unconscious.)