What the Water Gave Me- Why I Stopped Writing Everyday

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.

Isak Dinesen

Always considered water home. Simply, strangely, truly, home. I’ve laughed, cried, screamed, meditated even, in the water. All these ideas, decisions, stories, people, all water.

All the water in the world can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside.”

Goi Nasu

I came across both these quotes almost a decade ago, wrote them on my bedside as a reminder (edgy).

Fun fact: The first time I got my hand on WiFi and a color printer, I printed (and put by my bedside, of course) two photos:

  1. The Pussycat Dolls in front of a pink background
  2. Either Rihanna or Paris Hilton, I can’t remember for the life of me.

Another fun fact: my email used to delfinafrompcd, as in from The Pussycat Dolls. Gold times. 

Another one: Every other day, I would call and talk to the host of this radio show, I was a regular and my “stage name” was Paris Hilton. I was ~11 lmao. However, I’m fucking obsessed with Rihanna still, more than ever, so I guess she wins the bed shrine games.

What the Water Gave Me

What I was trying to say is that those water-related quotes are the only ones I remember, despite having tens of them on the wall by my bed. Surely, part of the reason is that the other ones were emo-phase-inspired, and my brain would crash just by trying to remember, let alone make sense of them. I remember the water-related ones because water has been a constant in my life for as long as I can remember.

Drowning (80% sure this is a fabricated memory,) my brother becoming a pro swimmer, me being a swimmer, family business related to swimming, so many narratives influenced and shaped by… water.

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow

I never gave much thought to how deeply connected to the sea I was and have been all my life, until recently. This relationship is so close to my heart, so precious and valuable, a neverending source of unconditional love. Harmony. Purity. Unity. Oneness. Forgiveness.

Wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, and I will never have to be confronted with that choice. No one can take it away from me, and that’s the most liberating feeling in the world.

I stopped writing because I was scared of what the wrong people were getting or could get from it.

Fear. That will be my official answer from now on as to why I stopped writing, after having written every day for two months and loving every aspect of it.

Water. Official answer as to why I’m back.

Unofficial answers: Because it was about time. Because I healed. Because the fear isn’t real, there are some things no one can EVER take from you.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

Meister Eckhart

The beach is a wise friend, a therapist, a healer, a truth-er. It’s my gut instinct, my guide, my reflection. It has shown me the way so many times I can’t begin to count, and words will never be enough to express my gratitude.

Let’s start with this: THANK YOU. I’m here, I’m back, I’m good.

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