I Don’t Care That He Died

A penny for your thoughts, Feminism

I’ll go ahead and say it: I don’t care that XXXtenacion died. I don’t care that you broke your elbow. I don’t care about him enough to know his art name correctly, or to bother to google it. I care about the numerous people he abused and tried to violently kill, even though I don’t know who they are and I’ll probably never meet them in person. I care about them enough, as I do for all the survivors in my life, to not hear his music or support him. In such a materialistic, uncertain world, something is certain: what we choose to give our money to, matters. You might be just a dollar sign to those companies, but every dollar sign matters.

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Finn Hackshaw

Monday

Food for thought

Be cautious. I tried to pay attention, but attention paid me. Pay attention for just a few more seconds or words, who knows what you’ll see or what pattern you’ll notice, that you otherwise wouldn’t have.

Try harder. Personal struggle. I either don’t do enough or go overboard.

Accountability is a powerful tool that helps you reach your goals. Use it as such. Deliberately. Often.

The power of new beginnings is such a tool as well: new day, new week, new notebook, new haircut? Use the little things in your favor, see how quickly they add up.

“Finding the problem is the hardest part.”

Ask better questions, find the mistake, fix it as quickly and beautifully and mindfully as you can, make better mistakes, repeat.

Clem Onojeghuo

Fuck Your Brutal Honesty

Psychology

Brutal honesty. I always advocate for honesty, and how it’s the best policy. That as long as you’re being respectful, you can do no wrong, no matter how hurtful the thing you’re saying is. However, I don’t think we need to be brutal. Brutality isn’t one of the words that should go hand in hand with honesty or police for that matter.

You can get your point across, truthfully, without being trash about it.

You can be a decent person and show respect, even though you may not like the other person.

You can say “yes” or “no” in a non-demeaning way.

You can tell someone how you feel without hurting their feelings.

You can pause before you speak. Even just a second should be enough reflection time and it will make a difference.

Ask yourself, is this adding to the discussion? Can you say it more clearly, interestingly, humanely?

Keep your brutality, it’s neither needed nor wanted.

P.S. And whoever convinced the world that brutal honesty is a cute personality trait… If I’m being brutally honest, there’s a special place in hell for you.

Priscilla Du Preez

Heartfelt Conversations

Gratefulness

Throughout my life, I’ve been blessed with amazing conversations. It’s sort of a constant happening that I’m no longer surprised by, always humbled from.

Good experiences, bad experiences, neutral ones. It was all talked thoroughly with my closest people who always had the most heartfelt, valuable insights to share.

This day, I had another great conversation that lasted for hours. I felt overwhelmed by the generosity of the other people present: how they share their thoughts, time, heart, laughs, cries, heartbreaks, and victories.

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mosque from unsplash

Eid Mubarak

Food for thought

In Albania, we’re quite respectful towards other’s religious beliefs. There are mosques and churches within walking distance of one another in the center of the city. Everyone celebrates their religion’s holidays openly, proudly, without concern of judgment, harassment, or fear for their life.

During Ramadan or Christmas, I always become hyper-aware of the extreme gap between what religion preaches, and what it actually practices.

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Jessica Felicio photo

Do This to Increase Your Life Expectancy

A penny for your thoughts

It’s so easy to get caught up in our everyday lives and forget about others, our hobbies/interests, and anything unrelated to school, or work, or our daily routine we’ve set for ourselves.

A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows there.

Especially real, healthy, nourishing relationships. When I was younger, I used to think relationships (not limited to romantic ones obvi) just happened. You hung out with a person a few times, had similar ideas, had fun and that was it.

But, relationships are hard work. Everyone’s trying to make sense out of it all, and you can fall out without even realizing. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just life.

Here’s what I (try to) do:

  • let them know when I’m thinking of them- a song, a photo, a lot of things remind me of my loved ones and I like letting them know about it
  • reach out often- you never know what someone might be going through until you talk to them. I try to reach out and do so often (without risking my own mental wellbeing)
  • Have them know I’ll be there for them when they need me, even though I’m not there all the time
  • Keep at it- consistency is the key word in all kinds of ventures you’ve taken on, relationships included

Research shows social connection, is a leading factor in the promotion of health, well-being, and longevity. The 30-year study considers a poor social life as dangerous as smoking, obesity, and excessive alcohol consumption.

On this day, I got to spend a few hours with family and almost-family. We shared stories from our past, some dating back decades ago. One of the women who is born in the same date as me is one of the funniest people I know (I know what you’re thinking, it runs in the date apparently), and she cracked me up.

Who knew that besides having a great time, I was also increasing my lifespan expectancy.

Happiness

Gratefulness

In Bourdain’s first ever written piece, I came across this gem:

“It’s been done, but I don’t think it’s been redone.”

I’m taking the liberty to focus on the sharing part rather than the writing part today.

Doing the redoing by resharing this:

 

Hope you’re there mentally.

Thanks for reading.

Love, D

(Don’t) Push It to the Limit

A penny for your thoughts

Sometimes, I think my dad is allergic to self-care.

A team of 12 doctors can tell him (and have) that he needs to rest, and he still can’t get himself to just relax, rest, replenish. Band-aid solutions till the next time he burns out, hypnotized by that feeling of accomplishment and the adrenaline rush of more.

Always more.

Years ago, I saw a photo of a neon sign, the outline of a heart shape, inscribed the words Never Enough. Never Enough. It stuck me with me.

It’s up for interpretation, but I never considered it as not being enough or not feeling enough. Instead, that hazy, joyous, delightful hunger for life.

Never enough. Using music and writing and art in all its forms, to emphasize whatever feeling I’m feeling. Productive, sad, in love, restless, frustrated, too much… Whatever it is.

Pushing it to the limit only means making room for overcoming those limitations, creating new rules, making better mistakes.

Worth

Food for thought

Anything that acts as a facilitator in you seeing your worth more clearly, do that.

Manage everything in your power to increase your value, as often as possible, as ruthlessly as needed.

Form no attachment to your present version.

Allow and welcome upgrades regarding who you are, what you do, and who you surround yourself with.

‘Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.’
cindy del valle - sunset photo

Sunday – People Who Make It All Worth It

Gratefulness

It does feel kinda surreal going to bed after watching the sunrise. Birds singing, empty streets, clear skies. A feeling of warmth, abundance, light. Beginnings are important, but so are endings. Knowing this is how the end starts (dramatic music playing) I rest assured Monday and next week will also start on the right foot. Appreciate the people in the life that put a smile on your face, that inspire and excite you. I also had some quality time with my mum and felt extremely grateful for her and the way she is, the space she occupies in this world and in my own personal little world, the personality traits I’ve stolen from her (mwahaha), and all the love she has to give and deserves to get.

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